How this Atheist Saw God and faced it.

Updated: May 8, 2019

You want to know the truth. I was terrified and electrified that moment when I thought, "Wait! Maybe there really is a God". It was a crazy moment. It filled me with dread and wonder. I was curious about this creature that might be able to do all of this. I mean could it even be possible? I wanted to know more. I thought of Einstein for some crazy reason and what would he have thought.

I think Einstein would have concluded the same things as many others have done in our day only he would have done it 20 times faster because … He’s that guy.

I was talking to someone tonight about how I came from Atheism to know that God is real. In the course of the conversation many things came up and I remembered my beliefs as I had to deal with them from stage to stage. My conversion from atheism took steps and I gave battle at every step. I put up a good effort. I guess you can judge the success of my fight based on this piece. I lost.

Einstein basically believed that the universe was God. I can’t fault him on that because I began to believe that as well when I first came out of atheism. He believed that because the universe is too complicated and spectacular to be happen-chance that the universe is God.

In Einstein's time he didn’t know how complicated and spectacular it is; but even then, he knew that it was too great to be anything but god like. To get god like structures or abilities you need God. So at first, he believed like I did that the universe itself might have god like properties and only that.

My journey through that was this: When I was exposed to Quantum Physics I realized that there were things that were beyond the naturalistic, materialist, explanation. And that there were phenomena in the universe that had a supernatural quality to it. Not necessarily spiritual but it was definitely beyond materialism. And so I began to believe that the universe itself became conscious; because the universe is so big and complicated that the consciousness of it would be very powerful and god like. I believed that it seemed reasonable that if we are part of the universe and are conscious why shouldn’t it? And if it became so ... then wouldn’t it become so much more than us that are just the parts of it? There are serious problems with this that I would find out in quick order. The biggest problem is it is a logic fail! It wont work that way. It is a natural way to go and it does make sense but when you keep looking at it .. it breaks down.

This is of course is the path of an atheist that is trying desperately to hold on to something … anything … I mean please let me have this and you can have that. It won't work that way because in the end it will ultimately deny the natural order of the universe:

1. There must be a creator to have creation.

2. In the laboratory of the Universe we have only seen creation from something similar:

a. Life gives rise to Life.

b. Intelligence gives rise to intelligence.

c. Consciousness gives rise to consciousness.

d. Information only comes from intelligence and the degree of complexity/meaning of the information is directly related to the degree of the intelligence.

3. The order of life is thus: life gives rise to life that then accelerates in intensity and then dies.

4. There is a pull to freedom, beauty and love.

5. There is resistance to evolution inside of the body.

6. While there is freedom there are limits and consequences.

7. There are absolutes like truth or morality.

8. We are the creation and can not fully fathom the creator because that entity is too far above. But we will always critic that entity.

This is the natural order of the Universe and it will work no other way.

One of the things that broke me was Entangled Objects in Quantum Physics.

In this we have two spinning objects like two beach balls that are linked together … by nothing. If we separate them by the distance of the entire universe they are still linked, even through black holes and super novas. This one killed me inside. How could this be? But wait. It gets worse.

If one is spinning you can not stop and reverse the spin of the other object. That object will stop at the same time and do exactly as its “entangled” twin. The information is transmitted instantly through the entire universe; and there is energy that is not accounted for on the opposite side of the transmission, and guess what? no transmission lines either. It is a signal-less transmission. It is information that is transmitted with no physical means in any way!

Physical materialism is dead. You have “something” that goes through the universe and then has a physical reaction “ reverse spin” on another object. So then immaterial started by an idea, then creates a physical reaction on the other side of the universe with no additional energy from the original source?!?!?! Come on!!!,

Did you get that?

I just wrote that and the first time I was exposed, I had to read it several times. But is anything I just said wrong? Nope. How can you believe in materialism after that then?

I mean with entangled objects we have no connection or delivery mechanism for the signal that happens instantly. At that point you have to explain all of the mechanical systems involved and then all of the … Ummm … uhhh … well there are no explanations because we don’t have mechanical anything and so how would we when there is no material to study? There is nothing. In this one case we can say “from something … through nothing … for no reason or means to … something”.

OK, at that point I'm done with materialism. I will sadly hand the cookies back to Dawkins and walk away. I will not be apart of this travesty any more. This is a sad joke. I wanted more but I got left with this nonsense? I thought at the end there was a prize or something for being so enlightened. Instead I received an empty suitcase.

I thought my side had the answers. I thought we were the smart ones. But in the end what I found is that we can not answer any questions of any discipline. We had nothing.

You want to know the true path of an Intelligent Designer?

I will tell you. It goes like this. We are confident in our atheism. And we carry on from day to day reinforced every day in the secure and supreme knowledge that we figured it out. Yeahhhh.

Then one day we are going about our business just looking about or being curious about science or whatever; and then we stumble upon the "Oh nooooo" moment.

This is a moment I know I share with other former Atheists. We are like …"Wait! What!?!?!?! Nahhhh"

And then comes the real moment. "AHAAAA"..Then you get it. Then the universe and science actually opens up and is no longer like a bunch of compounds that are constricted against one another but instead the whole thing just floods in like it should … like a natural current of information and creativity and you go, "Wow! … thank God … ummm for GOD!"

For me it was a life changing moment. But everyone thinks that it was a religious moment. Maybe in science or in awe of God and nature. But I did not convert. I am not a convert of any religion at the time of this.

The chains are falling faster. My resistance is not up to what is facing me. I know the truth and that is logic facing me in the mirror. I wonder if I can find a church. I am beginning to think like that now.

But what converted me to intelligent design .. that was amazing. Like many I went along not looking for this and then it hit me in the face. And now I am tormented at times. I know science on a level that surpasses anything I ever knew as an atheist by so many fold. I know evolution on a level that is probably dozens of times better. I love science and can’t get enough of if and I owe it all to Quantum Physics that first made me question everything.

I believe in God because there is no escaping it. I would rather it another way at times .. or at this time but I can not turn away from the truth. To do so is to turn away from yourself. In the end whether we like it or not there is a God. This is the natural order of the universe.

As I look into this I find that I like it more then I did before. It was something I did not like at all in the beginning. But as I began to understand the universe as it actually is; and how it is naturally organized, I began to see its design and beauty, its natural organization.

It is not something that can happen in this sentence but rather that happens after a sentence like this has been planted. Others went before me and others will go after and yet the universe was always created for this purpose. Sucks … or it rocks but it is.

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